Day 1 - Friday

Only Murray, Mike, Dave and Brian left on Day 1. After drinking in the airport hotel, departure lounge and on the plane they arrived totally pissed. So pissed that they were unable to pick up the hire car and had to get a taxi to the apartments. After several attempts to pick up the car during the course of the week, they failed, thus becoming the first tourers to get taxis everywhere. A couple of bars and clubs were sussed out before they retired late on Saturday morning

Day 2- Saturday

The Carnoustie lot got safely to Glasgow as did Euk. Meatser and Steven were shattered as they had not gone to bed.  Alec and Scott also had no problems from Brum.  At Faro the Portuguese bag handlers must go to the same school of bag handlers as the Spanish (Iberian Ditherer’s Institute of Transport Services or IDIOTS) We waited ages as one carousel was used for about six flights. Alec and Scott went to fix up the cars and once everyone got their luggage we were quickly on our way.

At the apartments Ron had the first disaster when he reversed the car into a tree. We congregated around the pool when the tour ID cards and T-shirts were handed out. Despite a previous scare, Boat & Mugser Bookies opened for business. After several pints we got ready for the evening and went to Ruis Bar. Ed got up singing, Ewan got upset at the Aussies singing and as we had had nothing to eat everyone was legless.  Euk found himself in a doorway and straggling home discovered he had lost his wallet and got in about 7.30. He closed the door thinking he was last home but Scott came in half an hour later.  Scott also found himself in a doorway and also lost his wallet. The biggest issue was the organisers had lost their Tour ID cards.

Day 3- Sunday

Onto Laguna for the first game of golf and we started at the 10th hole (a sign of things to come). Newcomer Mike went mental and scored 35 points to take a comfortable lead in the singles. Behind him things were much tighter  with 7 players scoring between 22 – 25 points. Brian and Mike led the doubles with 58 points.

We ate at the clubhouse and returned to get ready for going out and met at the apartment bar. The card school started and we were well into the CEGS tour routines. After the problems of the previous night we agreed that we would not go home on our own. After a few pints some went to town while others had an early night (including Brian). Brian accuses somebody of pouring water in his bed - prompts other confessions, not to be printed.

Day 4- Monday

Golf today was at Pinhal when the Scotland Vs The Rest of The World competition took place.

Despite Scotland looking good on paper all the ROW team performed well and won comfortably by 170 to 145 stableford points (or by 1 player). Again we ate at the clubhouse. The waitress was lovely, helpful and pleasant. She could understand our orders in English but the problem was she could not read English. She had to translate the orders to Portuguese and some problems ensued. The grilled chicken would take 30 mins but we agreed. BAD NEWS- Those who had it said it was the worst they had ever had. T.C. reckoned his was 98% bone 2% grissle and no chicken. They all felt “like chicken tonight”. Leaving the car park Ron had accident number two when he knocked over a stake whilst reversing from the car park in sight of the security guards.

At night we watched St. Mirren Vs Dundee United. Some enjoyed this more than others. Hit the Karaoke bar and generally got pissed. Members sang Wonderwall, Sweet Caroline, It's Now Or Never, American Pie and not to mention "cheer up Alec Smith”. Everyone got talking to Irish lass Alice but it was Dave Lib who got lucky. He took her home, got lost but at least admitted he had not scored.

Day 5- Tuesday

Golf at Vila Sol. We found it easily unlike 8 years previously. T.C. could even remember the number of sleeping giants we went over on the way to the clubhouse. We were in plenty of time and some bought expensive coffees. The bar staff had little more personality than Euk’s “Goofy” headcover.

Today we started at hole 19 and our second nine started at hole 1. This seemed ok until we noticed the stroke indexes only went up to nine. After a number of complex advanced mathematical calculations Ron cracked it. Divide your handicap by 2 and if your handicap was odd the additional stroke was taken in the first half.  We all drove off after having our photographs taken by a mystery woman. Then another CEGS first – Swans on the fairways. **** knows how they do not get hit. As Scott was about to start the backswing to his second shot one swan woke up and he shat himself.  Shortly after, another CEGs first – RAIN on the golf course – brollys were seen being used. Shortly after, another Cegs first – TC became the first to receive a phone call on the  golf course. Were more firsts to come ?  You bet – Euk was prevented from recovering his ball from a water hazard because of a water snake !!  Murray and Alec shared a buggy and Murray did a superb flintstones impersonation by losing control after 10 yards and wedging the buggy on a wooden post. The scoring was generally even with Mike again winning the singles with 29 points. Scott & Dave sneaked into the lead in the doubles by one shot.  At the clubhouse the mystery woman reappeared selling the photos she had taken. We were surprised that they were good and were bought for 1000 scuds each. All apart from DAVE LIB. Was he embarrassed to having his picture taken in the Algarve in waterproofs ? The meals were ordered and another CEGS first. The most expensive meal ever. Some of us paid £7 for a pint of beer!

We went to the Albufeira Strip at night where we either started the night drinking in the Garage or the Purple Pelican. However, Steven still thought we were going to the Strip the night before the day off !

Day 6- Wednesday

A day off. After a long lie in most were woken by the sound of gunfire. It was Portugal’s Independence day. No one knew who they had gained independence from, but Scott & Euk were enlightened by the shop lady. We went to the Marina and had a snack and drinks before going to the beach. Pretty windy but the bi-annual wap watching was completed. On the way back some stopped for another snack. At night we met in the pool bar. The first CEGS quiz took place. Choosing teams proved to be as difficult as the quiz itself. Enjoyed by everyone and another tour feature has been added. It was won by Eddie & Grant. We then headed for the Indian which Murray had booked. What a meal !! If we had had the same at Vila Sol we would have paid £100 each but it only cost us £20 per head. Brian got engaged to Helga and the wedding was to be the following day. On the way home we stopped at the Karaoke bar again and sat outside and had a good crack. Some headed back to HQ apartment for a late night feast.

Day 7- Thursday

Texas scramble at Millennium golf course. We had doubts if it was in the same complex as Laguna. Ron had no doubts however and he was right. The golf was played on a nice course with the wind a big factor on some holes. No team was giving their score away. At the clubhouse meal , the cards were handed in and the scores read out randomly. The team of Scott, Ewan, Dave and Eddie won with 68 (4 under par –another CEGS record). Both other teams were also under par with 70 & 71, which has never happened before. The memorable shot of the day was Scott’s second off the fairway to the 18th green with his driver.

Typical, 2nd last night when we find a great wee bar 100 yards from the apartments. TC organises a pool competition, another regular tour feature. Thanks to T. The form book went out the window with many seeds falling early. Boat came out a worthy winner but in the process forgot about his wedding. Steven's superb control of the cue ball proves to be more entertaining than the pool competition. We got chatting to Jacqueline and others and Steve was getting tore in. Murray walked to the Indian to book it for the final night on Friday. (Many thanks Murray). Some went to the casino and others went home.

Day 8- Friday

Final day – Stableford at the Old Course. Mike was 10 points ahead of Dave and they were both in the same group. Behind them the singles was very tight.  In doubles three teams were within four points of each other.

Before tee-off we had another CEGs’ first. A member was refused access to the course for not wearing the correct attire. Three girls in the starters box had a grope of  Steve’s shorts before confirming they were jeans. Ron took him back to the apartments to change. In the game Mike had his worst day but suffered most by not watching what Dave was doing. Dave on the other hand knew exactly where he stood. On the 17th they were level on points and Lib put it out of bounds. He eventually picked up and mike scored one point. The 18th for Dave was a 2 stroke hole and in the end he won. He went mental on the net birdies and over the three qualifying rounds had a total of 15. This broke the longest standing CEGs record which was set in Vilamoura by Euk in 1993.

We agreed to meet at 8.30 for the prize giving before moving to the Indian for 10.00 Euk underestimated the time for working out all the scores/prizes etc and we kicked off at 9.00 and the Indian was put back. The highlight of the presentation was Murray slipping on his arse.  Some members were re-united with cheques they had not seen since August 2000 by way of a certificate.

Indian again where Brian has to face the wrath of his jilted bride. It was once again excellent and a fitting end to another good tour. As the Gatwick mob had to be up at 5am some went straight home after saying goodbye and the rest went to the Karaoke for one last session.

The flights home were on time with no mishaps.

General - The prizewinners &scores are below. . More importantly, the gibber sheet is attached as an excel spreadsheet (will be uploaded later). We have to thank certain people. Scott for doing the majority of the tour organising with Longmere and newsletters etc. Murray for providing  Tour t-shirts and an additional Planet t-shirt. Ed for the Cegs golf towels. Grant for organising the Mini – bus. Euk for acting as Match Secretary. Mike Standy (for being the Standby) – this was most appreciated as golfing with 11 would have knackered the format. All of you who contributed prizes. Most of all thanks to you – CEGS members for turning out again from far and wide  –

YOU ARE THE BEST

Voulunteers for organising the 2002 and 2003 tours are now welcomed. For information the address of the embroidery outfit is: The Tay Shirt Co.,West Hendersons Wynd, Dundee DD1 5BY. Tel/fax 01382 322090, e-mail: bert@tay-shirt.com