CARNOUSTIE EAST-ENDERS GOLF SOCIETY

Spring Tour 1995, 2nd-9th April, Fuengirola

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sunday 2nd

Like last time the starting points were Glasgow and Gatwick. The Glasgow contingent had an early start with flight departure at 4.00am. First of all Eddie was introduced to Ewan and Ewan introduced to every one else (this was the first time he had met the troops since Forres, April 94 !) Remarkably Alec and T.C. were surprisingly sober. We had breakfast then made our way to the departure lounge.

The Flight: Boarding the plane we split into two groups - smokers and non-smokers. The crew was friendly and we settled down to a fine flight as everything was on time. Disaster!! the tug man boobed and a bit fell off the plane - we had to come back and after chaos we were 7 hours late after being diverted through Manchester. During the wait T.C. slept on the departure lounge floor using Ewan’s bag as a pillow.

We got through customs etc OK. We learned from the Car Hire man that Scott had a problem earlier in the day. On arrival at the Pyr Hotel we had another shock when we learned Murray had aborted the trip at the last hour. We soldiered on however and in the evening had a good knees up in the Hotel bar with Eddie & Ewan doing a “Sirtaki” dance. T.C. and Brian bought new Golf hats after some good negotiating. They had elephants on them and very sparkly.

 

Monday 3rd

The first game of golf at La Cala. This was a good course but very hilly. Everyone made good starts with only 4 shots separating the team event. At night we hit the Irish pub when Eddie did well in the “Name that tune” competition and both he and Ewan gave a song.

 

Tuesday 4th

Golf at Mijas - Los Lagos -eventually! Hellish directions meant we were half an hour late but luckily we got out straight away. We had a Texas Scramble in Triples. As usual this was very close but Brian, Ewan & T.C. won on the B.I.H.

 

Wednesday 5th

No golf - we had a lazy day with a late breakfast and the afternoon on the beach.

 

Thursday 6th

Golf at Rio Real. After Tuesday’s problem we left in plenty of time but still did not find the course easily. The course was very tough but we were disappointed with its condition after getting good crits. The better golfers shone through however with Grant, Scott and T.C. opening up a good lead.

 

Friday 7th

No golf - we lazed around in the morning and in the afternoon played Seves par 3 course. It was not great and most lost more balls here than in the rest of the week.

 

Saturday 8th

Final day at Mijas - Los Olivios. Brian & Scott were late cause they were still blootered. The course was nice and open and it produced the best golf of the week with 3 players scoring 30 or more.

The smoker was held in the Rajoot Indian restaurant and we had a good presentation.

 

Sunday 9th

Another holiday at an end. The flights home were straight forward with no events of note

 

GIBBERS

Person                   Quote

T.C.                      Farting during backswing                                              

SCOTT                  Falling over when pisssed and attempting to put tee in the ground

GRANT                 “Sorry I’ve dialled the wrong number”

BRIAN                  Forgot to remove shoes before paddling in the sea!

SCOTT                 Where’s the green?

EWAN                    Where’s the green car?

STEVEN                 Handing out Los Olivios scorecards for Los Lagos course

HENNY                 Moving bed to escape Ewan’s snoring to get a slap in the face from  Grant and discover T.C. snores as well.

STEVE                 This water is wet.

EDDIE                 Crapping on the fifth at Los Olivios.

GRANT                 Tee shot to eight inches on par 3 course

BRIAN                 Mixing up TC’s socks and sticking Labels on Ewan’s back

                          Using exchange rate to calculate crowd at Zaragossa Vs Chelsea match

HENNY                 I’m only a tobacconist

ED, SCOTT,BRIAN     Skinny dipping

EWAN TO ED        Is that a Taylor Made? ED No it’s a maxfli 2!!

SCOTT                 That will be us in 20 years,turning our hearing aids up. “Pardon”

BRIAN                 Is it your birthday this year?

SCOTT                 Diving in pool with money still in pocket

STEVEN               I think I’ll buy a new pair of clubs

                           I’ll have my curry spicy medium

T.C.                     Lets call us CLEGS- Carnoustie Laurence Eastenders Golf Society

BRIAN,ALEC,T.C.     Moroccan Elephant hats

BRIAN                 Shoes up the tree for safekeeping

JOKES                 Boli Soup, Cortisone Injection, Alan Wannel etc. etc.

 

Conversation of The Week

Scott:- “Eddie- what number does Eliane stay at ?“

Eddie:- “Number 27 I think”

Brian:- “No it’s not”

Eddie:- “What is it then”

Brian:- “I used to have a system to remember that but I’ve forgotten the system”

Scott:- “So what is Eliane then - 27 ?“

Alec:- “Isn’t she the same age as you Brian !